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(Source: mysharona1987, via kurara-black-blog)
the basement gremlin of devils shitposts
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good thing i listen to exactly one song with explicit lyrics every day
I’ve been saying this for a while but Startup Bro is the new and terrifying lovechild of the brogrammer and the business major and he is somehow even more self-centered and bigoted than either of them
No, no, guys, look closely.
This house is looking for extremely physically fit young men (No drugs, no makeup, no special diet, exercise 15 hrs a week) who are passive and docile (no protests, no music lyrics with swears) who, most of all, will not be missed if they disappear (very little social media presence, not rich enough to own expensive luxury items, no need to constantly be in contact with their parents over bills/gifts, few identifying markings like tattoos)
This is obviously an organ harvesting operation.
Actually it turned out that the guy who was running it wanted to create a quasi-paramilitary organization.
There were so many horror stories about the place in the news that the landlord evicted everyone.
(Gotta say, though, that I like the organ harvesting scheme better.)
“It would have been better to have found out this was an organ harvesting scheme” is not a sentiment I expected to see today, and yet.
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why-try-whenyoucanhavecookies:
did i ever tell u guys that in fifth grade my class wrote a play bc we were studying ancient greece? it was called persephone and the (not so hot) heroes. i played demeter. basically, persephone got kidnapped by kronos and i strong armed hades into giving me 3 heroes from the underworld to get her back but they were actually terrible and i forget how she was actually saved but bottom line is that you wish you were my fifth grade class
this wasn’t little either, we used the town hall and we wore togas and shit
me as demeter
some lines (this was a joint effort of a bunch of greek-savvy 10/11 year olds):
athena: ‘im the goddess of wisdom but you don’t notice me telling everyone. i’m too smart for that’
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aphrodite: is zeus chasing some mortal woman again?
athena: no this time he and hera have gone for marriage counselling
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athena: we can ask hades to let them out of the underworld to help
aphrodite: he’ll never agree, he’s such a deadly bore (we made a fucking pun im so angry)
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demeter: hades wont pick up. he’s too busy torturing the dead in tartarus
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hades: i can’t undo the laws of death. just think of the paperwork.
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aphrodite: the humidity is messing up my hair. it’s getting all frizzy
athena: is that all you care about?
aphrodite: no, it’s also messing up my dress
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demeter: it’s so dark, and there aren’t any trees or flowers
hades: what do we need trees for, everybody’s dead
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paris: yeah, and i can shoot straight! isn’t that right, achilles?
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(hades enters)
paris: who are you? do we know you?
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achilles: im mighty achilles
odysseus: im wily odysseus
paris: and im hungry paris
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kronos: i really am awesome, aren’t i
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aeton: one wrong move and you’re history
odysseus: fool! we already are history!
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demeter: where are those mortals? i left them right there.
athena: are you sure? this isnt the first time you’ve lost someone.
I suddenly have the need for the entire screenplay, and to direct it at my college.
These are funnier than literally any retelling I have ever done and I’m not even mad about it.
op can we please have the whole screenplay
(Source: lilapls, via strayprussia)
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no offense and I wouldn’t wish injury on anyone but there’s like, literal, alt right and trump supporters and racists/sexists/homophobes on the men’s tour that we could have lost instead of Andy Murray and YET. the world is so unfair.
(via daviddellama)
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Fun fact: anytime you hear a story that boils down to “and then some ABSOLUTE FOOL sued this totally innocent megacorporation for assloads of money AND WON! Can you believe it? Ridiculous. Some people, right?” 99 times out of 100, the corporation super fucked up, the plaintiff 100% deserved that money,.and you’ve just been fed corporate propaganda.
“Hot Coffee Lady” had to get skin grafts and was at least the 11th customer to be hospitalized. The coffee served to her was in violation of a court order requiring McDonald’s to sell their coffee at a safe temperature.
The “warning: contents hot” label is a passive-aggressive move by McDonalds because they implemented it at the same time that they finally complied with legal requirements to serve safe beverages.
Every time you see “warning contents hot” and roll your eyes because of course it’s hot, you’re assuming that you and McDonald’s agree on the definition of “hot.”
What’s more, you assume you’ve always agreed, which is the baseline for assuming that the lady who sued had unrealistic expectations.
Yeah. I don’t remember the corporate policy for McDonalds coffee temperature at the time, but i do remember that it was *near boiling.*
Your Starbucks? Not near boiling. Not likely to make you need massive reconstructive surgery on your hoo hah if you spill it in your lap.
Also, please remember exactly how much BS someone would have to go through to get that verdict. Generally speaking, someone has been seriously injured or killed. They have to prove that the company was negligent or knowingly refused to fix an issue. This isn’t like airing something on Fox News - there are actual standards of proof that have to be met. Even so, most consumer lawsuits against corporations do not achieve large awards. When they do, consider how severe the damage must have been. The MCD lady only wanted them to pay her damn medical bills (think about how much medical care costs in the U.S.); McDonalds refused. Toyota eventually had to pay a massive settlement (after being sued multiple times) for issues with the gas pedal causing sudden massive acceleration. Do you honestly believe they would have just fixed it on their own? Toyota lied to regulators and blamed it on “driver error” - because sometimes you just hit the gas really hard when you meant to hit the brake… (see https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/economy/toyota-reaches-12-billion-settlement-to-end-criminal-probe/2014/03/19/5738a3c4-af69-11e3-9627-c65021d6d572_story.html?noredirect=on&utm_term=.ab92a7e6b655)
Don’t let them fool you into thinking that people are getting hurt by a company’s product just because they’re stupid.
Corporations have no qualms about lying and defaming people they have hurt to avoid being held accountable.
Think about how much money McDonalds (and other corporations) have. Think of how easily they can pay for anything to go away. Think about the teams of high powered lawyers they can pay.
If a regular joe manages to take them to court and actually WIN? There’s a fucking reason for that.
(via bassiter)
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Kids break into radio station, swear at listeners
A group of children broke into a radio station in Western Australia’s remote Kimberley region and put themselves live on air for an impromptu late-night show full of swearing.
The first police knew of it was a phone call from a listener, concerned at swear words being broadcast.
Station manager Angie Stahl says she had previously given the children lessons in community radio, and they worked out how to make the studio go live.
“But unfortunately their show mainly involved swearing, which was a bit punk, a bit avant-garde, but also breaches the broadcasting laws, and our codes of practice.
“So the cops got a call from an outlaying station ringing up to say, ‘I think you’ve got some kids on the radio, they’re busy swearing, you’d better go bust them’.”
Ms Stahl said the children appear to have entered through a window in her house, which adjoins the studios.
While in the house they ate some chicken nuggets and dyed their hair.
Not long after going on-air with their expletive-ridden jokes, police officers arrived to put a stop to the radio broadcast.
Ms Stahl said the children may have a future in broadcasting.
“They’d come in a couple of times before to do a couple of shows and programs, so I’d taught them the basics,” she said.
“So it’s good to see the knowledge was used correctly.”
“While in the house they ate some chicken nuggets and dyed their hair”
“A bit punk”
Amazing.
(via bassiter)
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not gonna lie i think this dreidel dreidel dreidel cover is one of rob cantors best fucking songs and its up there like. among even shia labeouf and the best fucking part is that it slaps really fucking hard considering its for preschoolers
(via bassiter)
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DM: You open the door and see two creatures -
BARBARIAN: I close the door and don’t see them anymore.(via bassiter)
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Did Trump seriously shut down the US government because he’s not getting his way with the damn wall shit
OH I SEE
(via alistairtherins)
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I’m kinkshaming all of Germany
Is it better or worse if I tell y'all that “Nüsse” means “nuts”
Dicke means Fat or Thick
this post only gets worse
super dickman’s thick nuts
(via pepper-roni)
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Magical.
👌👌 👌 👏 👏
lmaooo
For the record, the guy actually invented this with the intent of it being used to crack down on human trafficking. Traffickers often cover their victims in heavy/unusual makeup before posting pics of them online, to make them harder to detect using normal software.
oh
So basically this is a case of really shitty reporting. The article could have been about an app used to rescue victims of trafficking but they decided to flippantly make it about make-up
(via sumthincool)
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The stories of women in my family who were forced into lives they didn’t want and didn’t utilize their passions breaks my heart. My grandma wanted to be a journalist and write about the injustices she saw inflicted on disabled ppl while she was volunteering at a state run institution as a teen. Her father decided that she was “too fat and stupid” for college and forced her to get married at 17 or else he’d make her homeless. As a kid she told me that she wished people believed that she had meaningful opinions on events around her. One of my great grandmothers wanted to be an artist but was pressured into marrying a man who beat her. She stayed up late each night when her children were in bed writing poetry and pasting it over elaborate collages she mad herself. We still have stacks of these notebooks she created but was never allowed to do anything with. My mother wanted to be an operatic singer and was considered a musical prodigy in her town because she taught herself three seperate instruments by 13. When she was 18 she met my then 30 year old father who emotionally manipulated her into giving up her dreams to start a family with him. As a kid I would hear her up at night playing the violin or doing vocal exercises until she became too depressed to practice anymore. Like idk y’all there’s a quiet type of violence in the way women’s talents are devalued and brushed aside in favor of bullying them into “traditional” roles that ultimately don’t fulfill what they wanted for their lives. We’ve lost so much art, music, writing, science, and happiness to misogyny.
(via lunamalfoy7)
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I periodically feel so fucking sad for women in history. I feel like birth control in countries where it is widely used has made women forget an aspect of male cruelty and sociopathy that is now less apparent (giving the illusion that men have improved when only women’s defences against men have)—the fact that for most of history men could live with a woman for decades and not care that they were slowly killing her with endless back-to-back pregnancies which not only resulted in early death more often than not, but also in a total smothering of the woman’s spirit and talents. I saw a quote by Anne Boyer the other day that called straight relationships for women “not only deadly, but deadening”—as I was reading Jill Lepore’s Book of Ages, a biography of Benjamin Franklin’s sister Jane, who was bright and loved reading and wrote some poetry, but had little time to make anything of her life in between her 12 pregnancies. Benjamin Franklin’s mother had 10 sons and 7 daughters. What could they possibly accomplish when their husbands kept impregnating them year after year after year throughout their entire adult life?
Charlotte Brontë eschewed marriage longer than most (writing to Ellen Nussey that she wished they could just set up a little cottage and live together) but she finally married at 38, became pregnant, and died before her 39th birthday. If she had married younger would Jane Eyre exist? I was reading that biography of Charity & Sylvia last month and comparing their life together in their little cottage to the life of their married female relatives, which was honestly hell on earth. One of Charity’s sisters had 18 children. Charity’s mother had 10 living ones, and probably some additional stillbirths. She gave birth to her first child age 19, in 1758, then to a pair of twins in 1760, then another child in 1761, another in 1763, another in 1765, another in 1767, another in 1769, another in 1771, another in 1774, another in 1777. Charity was the last child and her mother had been sick with tuberculosis for months when she became pregnant with her, and she died soon after giving birth.
I wish people would call this murder—this woman was murdered by her husband, like countless other women who do not ‘count’ as victims of male violence because straight sex is natural, pregnancy is natural, childbirth is natural. But when after 20 years of nonstop pregnancies this woman had tuberculosis and suffered from severe respiratory distress, severe weight loss, fever and exhaustion, and her husband impregnated her again, her death was expected. He must have known; he just didn’t care. This woman’s sister—Charity’s aunt—remained a spinster and outlived all of her married sisters by several decades, living well into her eighties. (Ironically, male doctors in her century asserted that sex with men was necessary for women’s health. The biographer quoted from a popular home health guide which said that old maids incurred grievous physical harm from a lack of sex with men.) And this aunt had the time and liberty to develop her skill for embroidery to such an extent that two museums still preserve her embroidered bed drapes. She accomplished something, she nurtured her talent and self. Her name was also Charity, and I find it interesting that Charity’s mother named her last daughter, whose pregnancy & birth killed her, after her childless, unmarried sister.
When I see women reblog my post about Sophia Tolstoy’s misery with her 13 children, adding comments like “thank god marriage is no longer synonymous with this”, I wonder if they realise that men have not magically become any kinder or more concerned about their female partner’s health and fulfillment, it’s just that women now have access to better ways of protecting themselves from their male partner’s indifference to their health and fulfillment.
(via expectos-patronum)
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